SLEEP TALK

SLEEP TALK: A BREAKTHROUGH TECHNIQUE FOR HELPING YOUR CHILD COPE WITH STRESS AND THRIVE THROUGH DIFFICULT TRANSITIONS
Lois Y. Haddad, R.N., with Patricia Wilson and Judith Searle
Lincolnwood, IL: NTC/Contemporary Publishing, 1999
289 pages, hardback, $21.95
ISBN:0-8092-2800-9

Reviewed by Lynne Lamberg

The author of this book, Lois Haddad, a nurse, believes that parents can help their children weather difficulties by talking to them for a few minutes while they sleep. She offers a series of anecdotes, and includes the scripts she gave parents or helped them develop.

For a three-year-old who was afraid of the water, for example, she suggested statements such as "I want to let you know how proud I am of your courage when you are around water. Thank you for your effort in learning to swim." For a child who had trouble getting up in the morning, she suggested, "I am proud of you when you wake up in the morning with your smiling, shiny face." She even suggests that talking to a baby still in the womb can foster an easier delivery.

The use of affirmations to enhance self-empowerment has a long history, from the children's fable of the little engine that could, to the twelve step program utilized by Alcoholics Anonymous. Is it straining credulity to suggest that such messages delivered by a parent can get through to a child's sleeping brain?

Haddad cites sleep lab studies showing that sleepers respond preferentially to the sound of their own names and to stimuli that are personally significant. These facts may explain how it is possible, for example, for a sleeping mother to ignore a passing fire engine but to awaken when her baby whimpers.

To her credit, Haddad reports that sleep learning studies have failed to show that one can acquire new information in sleep. She notes correctly, however, that such studies have focused on factual information, such as a foreign language or new vocabulary words. Her Sleep Talk program concentrates on emotional content that already is familiar to the child. She suggests these messages of love may have a subliminal effect. Her program has not been studied in a sleep laboratory.

Parents who use Sleep Talk, reading the same script to their child five nights a week, Haddad asserts, will know soon enough whether it's having the desired effect. One suspects that a parent who commits to this program also would attempt to reinforce the messages with greater patience and support in waking hours. Perhaps that is the secret of the success Haddad reports. Might be worth a try.