Message:
rght this is gonabe long winded so stop rdng now if yu are not into it. several yrs ago i had what i cn only descrb as a realy shitty time (prd mi language). my dad ad just kicked it and i was goin thro puberty. on the night after burnin him . i was lyin in bed , the door creeked and woke me (the landing light was on asusual and my brother was asleep in the bed opposite) next i felt `i can only describe as electric , that close feeling before a big storm.the i felt something sit on the bed (i can still see the landin light and my brother sleeping ) nothing else! next i got pins`n needles runin up and down next although icould not feel hands or see anithing i was being choked(iwas still seeing the laning light and my bro) this bit realy freaked me ,got up and switched the light on bro muttred and i sat on my bed WHAM>> something around my neck again . this lasted not long (freaked woke bro up) refused to sleep in the room again. 3r4 dys later nodding of on couch , can see lights of landing thro crack in door pins`needles this time realy intense(same storm feel also) no choke this time , blue light to my right not strong but (alive) cannot move shi..in myself i must mention the time of this is nearly the same 3.25am after this did not sleep at night ,unless exastd or drunk christ i was only 15 . i still cant sleep prop i am now 37 this carried on for a numbr of yrs (not full blown just the the storm feel, then i knw i was in sh.t op i am not boring you! right ths bit is up right and personal (so dont tell anyone mmmmm ) a number of yrs later i had a messy separation with someone took overdose (nearly did it but thank whatever it didnt) anyway idigress. spent 9 wks in hospital . one night woke up with pain in chest(gullet had split, not to good)lotsnof docs around but one stood out (no doc uni or nurse uni) just this person that stoked my head once dark hair plain features ,just well perfect? what is real is i can remember only her thro agonizin pain and nr death next night i pay for had bad fever pins`nneedles this time way strong felt it was takin over not just body ,but mind spent another 6 wks in hospital. lookin back i see it may have been epilepsy angsiety whatever, the one thing that is clearest in my mind is the touch of the rose